Realization
by Neko's Revenge
Summary: When Kanda realized that he cared for the Moyashi. Rated T for kissing. Shounen Ai. Yullen!
1. Chapter 1

**Okay! I don't why I did this! XD I guess I just felt like writing some kinda little angst story. Is this considered angst? I have no idea! Sorry if it isn't!!! Anyway!!! Hope ya like it!!!!!  
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**Disclaimer: I own nothing!!!!!! *starts crying***

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Allen hadn't woken up yet. It had been a whole month. He still wasn't awake. It was supposed to be a simple one day mission. Collect the innocence and destroy any akuma that crossed his path. And yet it turned into a truly gruesome battle. At least a hundred level twos, fifty level threes, and ten level fours showed up. Allen barely made it out alive. One more minute and he would've been dead. He was lucky Kanda, Lavi, and Lenalee made it in time. When they got there he collapsed immediately. He was on the edge between life and death. Not even his innocence could have saved him. The blood hadn't even stopped when they reached the Order.

Everyone was depressed. There was no longer laughter in the halls. No screams from the victims of Komurin. No Komurins. Komui actually did his work. All was quiet. Until one day. One day is all it took. One moment.

Allen had woken up.

There was immense joy when Lavi ran down the halls screaming:

"ALLEN'S AWAKE!!!! ALLEN'S AWAKE!!!!"

Lenalee cried tears of happiness. Everyone did. Even Kanda, although it was silent and in his room. Gradually the place became more and more lively. Komui stopped working and Made Komurins after two weeks. Laughing returned to the Order. The screaming erupted again. Allen was still in the infirmary, but awake and talking to everyone. For the first week, there was no time when he was alone. But people stopped coming to visit him and he was finally alone one night. That is until Kanda walked in.

"Kanda?"

"Moyashi." He walked up to Allen and, without any further words, crushed his lips upon the younger's. To say the younger was surprised would be an understatement. When the samurai pulled back, Allen's innocent eyes were wide and he was quite flushed. "I love you. And if you ever do that again, I will personally kill you. Got it?" Allen nodded unconsciously, his face still shocked. Kanda smirked and once again crushed his lips upon Allen's. This time, the boy pushed back. After a moment, Kanda's tongue was at Allen's lips. He opened his mouth, allowing the it entrance. Soon they had to break apart for oxygen.

Kanda put his forehead on Allen's and smiled. Allen smiled too and whispered:

"I love you too."

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**Well that's it! Reviews are much appreciated!!!!!!** ^_^


	2. Longer Version

**Well I am in a writing mood this past month! I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Oh well! This is a longer version of my other fic. Realization. I felt like writing more so I did! XD** **Hope it's not too bad!**

**Disclaimer: *sniff* Sadly, i own nothing. *starts crying***

**Kanda: Your stupid.**

**Neko: I am not!**

**Allen: Yuu! Be nice to our authoress! **

**Kanda: Never.**

**Neko: *In emo corner*  
**

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Allen was dieing. Right in front of their eyes. He was gasping for breath when they found him, still fighting off akuma. He was supposed to be on an easy one day mission. But that mission turned into a disaster. A hundred level twos, fifty level threes, and ten level fours showed up as he was reporting back to Komui, saying he got the innocence. As soon as Komui heard this, he sent Kanda, Lavi, and Lenalee to go help him. They were all terrified that they had been too late when they saw Allen's state. He was bleeding everywhere and some was still pouring out of a stomach wound. As soon as he saw them running for him, he smiled a tired smile and collapsed.

Kanda and Lavi finished off the rest of the akuma, while Lenalee went to tend to Allen's wounds.

"Allen! Stay with me, please!" She screamed, as she ripped strips of her coat to wrap around his stomach. Lavi and Kanda came running up to her.

"How is he?!" Lavi practically shouted.

"I don't know! He looks bad Lavi. Oh god, Allen wake up!" He was trembling and his wounds wouldn't stop bleeding. His most severe ones were the one on his stomach and shoulder. It seemed something had punctured the middle of his torso. And you could see the bone of the his shoulder. Lavi helped Lenalee bandage him, but Kanda just stood there wide-eyed. He couldn't move. He felt like the world was ending.

_Moyashi can't die. He can't. There's just no way. Wait! Why the hell do I care?!_

"Kanda, don't just stand there! Try and get his attention! Keep him awake!" Lavi yelled at him. Kanda 'Che'd' and knelt down to take Allen's head into his lap.

"Oi! Moyashi! Wake up! You can't sleep now!" He lightly slapped his face, but nothing happened. "Shit," he cursed under his breath. "Oi! Get up!" Allen's eyelids fluttered slightly, but did not open. "Dammit! Get up!"

"Lavi! I can't feel his pulse!" Lenalee cried. She had tears in her eyes and her shoulders shook.

"Shit!" Lavi bent down to hear a soft _thump _of the white-haired boy's heart. "He's still alive! We gotta get him to the Order now!" Without another word, Kanda picked Allen up bridal-style and rushed to the train station.

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It was only a matter of minutes when they got to the Black Order. Allen had acquired a high fever and was gasping shakily for breath. As soon as Kanda stepped off the boat, he rushed the boy in his arms to the infirmary. Lavi and Lenalee close behind him. Komui was waiting for them and told Kanda to lay him on a bed they had prepared.

You could barely hear Allen's heart.

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They had said he was in stable condition when they were finished with the surgery. That was a week ago.

Allen hadn't woken up yet at all. Not moved an inch. The whole Black Order was in depression. Komui did his work everyday. Lenalee and Lavi would visit Allen everyday, looking for any sign he'd wake up. No sign came. There were no Komurin's to terrorize people. No laughter, no happiness. Even Jerry was in a sad mood. People barely talked to each other. Only one person looked as normal as ever. But it was the complete opposite in his mind.

Kanda.

He didn't get much sleep. He kept thinking about the Moyashi. There was no point in the day when he didn't think of the silver-haired exorcist. He even visited him at night when no one was around. One night he couldn't stand it anymore. He walked down to boy's private infirmary room and locked the door. He slammed his hands on either side of the motionless head and glared.

"Why the hell can't I stop thinking about you?" A little voice in the back of his head was screaming at him for the millionth time:_**Because you LOVE him! You love him! You love him! You love him, god dammit! **_It chanted over and over again, in an endless song. Kanda growled.

"There's no fucking way. Never. I can never_…love_…someone. It's against my nature. It's not me."

_**Liar! You know you love him, your just too stubborn to admit it! You and your pride can go fuck yourselves! **_

"Shut up!"

_**I will not!…Kiss him and find out for yourself if you love him or not. **_

"Che…fine." He leaned down and pressed his lips upon the lush, cold, pink ones below him. As soon as the skin toughed, he immediately felt electricity. He pulled away quickly and stared wide-eyed at the closed eyes.

_**Holy shit! You actually did it! I was just kidding! I didn't think you'd do it! Jeez! You probably just stole the kid's first kiss and he doesn't even know it! Nice going.**_

"Shut up." _No. This can't be happening! I'm fucking gay?! Seriously?! Dammit. It's just cause he almost died…Yeah that's it. _

_**You're an idiot. **_

With that last inner voice reply, Kanda rose from the bed and stood beside the body.

"You better wake up soon," he said as he stroked Allen's hair. For a second he thought he saw Allen's eyelids flicker open. He leaned down and looked more closely. He waited a few minutes, but nothing happened. "Che." With that he left to go train.

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Three weeks past. It had been a month since the incident. A whole month. By then the Order was loosing hope. That their favorite exorcist would never wake up. But then a miracle happened.

Allen woke up. A month later. After his near death. His wounds had healed up already. His body was weak from not eating or getting any exorcise. But he was awake. That's all that mattered.

Everyone piled into his room to show how happy they were. Lenalee cried tears of joy. Lavi bounced up and down in excitement and glomped the boy.

The only person that wasn't seen in the room or the halls was Kanda. He was in his room, silent tears running down his cheeks. He rubbed at them, willing them to stop.

_Dammit! Why am I crying?!_

_**Because your happy! **_

_Oh, great. Your back. Just what I need. _

_**Shut up! I'd go away if you'd just admit your feelings for Allen Walker. You know you would be a lot happier. **_

_No I wouldn't. He's a baka moyashi. I don't need him._

_**And who was the one that was the most depressed out of the whole Order? **_

_Again, Shut up. I do not love him. _

_**Ugh! Your so fucking stubborn! Would you just get over your fucking self and realize you love him?!**_

_Do you have any proof?_

_**Lots of it! Who do you keep dreaming about every night? Huh?**_

_Moyashi._

_**And you felt electricity when you kissed him three weeks ago, correct?**_

_Yes._

_**And who dreams about him writhing and moaning in pleasure?! You! You you you!!! I think that's enough proof! So when no ones down there, YOU go down there and confess your love! And I won't take no for an answer! **_

_Who the hell made you boss?_

_**No one! I made myself boss! Now do as I say or I'll NEVER shut up!! Lalalalalalalalalalallaaaaaa!!! Lalalala!!**_

_Alright alright! Jeez. Fuckin mind._

With that, he sat on his bed and attempted to meditate until the middle of the night.

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It was one in the morning when Kanda arrived at the infirmary door. He took a deep breath and walked in to see Moyashi looking out the window with a rare solemn face.

"Oi! What's wrong with you? Shouldn't you be asleep?" He asked, startling Allen, making him jump.

"K-Kanda? What are you doing here?"

"I asked you a question first." He walked to the chair that was placed by the sprouts bed and sat down. Allen seemed surprised by that, but soon sighed and continued looking out the window.

"I can't sleep. That's all." There was a long silence that followed.

"Moyashi…"

"Yes?" Came the tired reply.

"I have something to tell you." Allen turned his head to look at Kanda with a questioning gaze.

"What is it?" Kanda's face was cast down to stare at the white tiled floor. "Kanda?"

"Moya-…Allen," Allen's eyes widened. "It seems I've felt something towards you for…along time. Before a month ago. So…"

"Kanda? I'm sorry. I don't understand." His brows knitted together.

"Che. Listen carefully. Because I'm _not _going to repeat it." Allen nodded. "I-I…l-lo…lo…Dammit! Ya know what?!" He stood up and stalked over to the boy. He glared at him and Allen cowered under it.

"Ye-Yes?" Kanda growled and crushed his lips on Allen's own. The younger male's eyes widened and his body stiffened. _What the hell?! I thought he hated me! Is he sick?…But…It feels good._

Kanda, on the other hand, had fireworks going off in his head. _Shit! I do love him! _He tilted his head slightly and brought his hand to push Allen's head to press back. Although before he could Allen pressed back on his own and his arms wrapped around Kanda's neck. Soon the need for air pulled them back from each other, both panting. Kanda's arms wrapped around Allen's waist to pull him flush against him. It earned a started yelp from the other.

"I'm taking your kissing back as an 'I love you too,' Moyashi." Allen smiled a _real_ smile, closed his eyes, and crushed his lips on Kanda's again. This time, the samurai didn't hesitate to trace the flesh of Allen's lower lip. Allen gasped at the tough. Earning Kanda's tongue entrance into his mouth. The intrusion roamed every part of the hot cavern until Allen's own tongue brushed against the other. They fought for dominance for what felt like ages until Kanda pulled away, panting. A string of saliva still connected there tongues. Allen's face was flushed and his eyes half lidded.

"Well Moy-Allen," That sent a shiver up said person's spine. "I would say that isn't your first real kiss." Allen smirked.

"Nope! I've had others. I'm as _innocent _and _pure _as everyone thinks I am." Kanda raised a brow at that.

"Oh? And what else have you done?" Allen's smirk widened and his eyes turned to pure lust.

"Why don't we go to your room and find out?" He asked seductively. Kanda blinked and flushed.

"As much as I'd loooove to. It's almost dawn. And I think you'd be a screamer."

"Hehehehe. Maybe~. You'll just have to find out~."

"Che. Next mission. Anyway. Are you tired?"

"Hm. A little." Kanda lifted him bridal-style, walked over to the bed, and gently laid him on it. Allen flushed and looked at him questioningly when Kanda slid in next to him.

"You want people to know we're together now?"

"Their gonna find out sooner or later. Better sooner." he placed a kiss on his forehead wrapped his arms around his waist. "Now go to sleep."

"Hm." Allen snuggled into the embrace, curling into the warmth. "Love you, Kanda." His eyes drifted shut.

"Call me Yuu."

"Hmmm. Love you…Yuu." His breathing evened out and he fell asleep. Kanda's arms tightened around _his _moyashi.

"I love you…Allen."

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**Kanda: That was stupid. I didn't even get to rape my Moyashi.**

**Allen: Hey! No one said you could rape me! **

**Neko: That's right. Allen gets to rape _you_ in a different fic. *snickers***

**Kanda: I will never be uke. Never.**

**Neko: That's not what one of my unfinished fics. says. **

**Kanda:...Bitch.**

**Allen: Yuu! That's not nice! No sex for you!**

**Kanda: WHAT?! Why?!**

**Allen: Because you called our sweet authoress a bitch. **

**Kanda: Che. Fine. I take it back. **

**Allen: Good boy. **

**Neko: *sleeping***

**Well that's it!!! Hope ya liked it!!!! Might do a short chapter 2 later. Don't know yet. Reviews are much appreciated! XD  
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